I love frankie
"Did it burst in your mouth?"
"It always bursts in my mouth."
"You must not be drinking it right."
"Imma find you some salty chips!"
"Idk the flavor is continuing to burst...every time i drink."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I'm starting to feel unfulfilled. Not unfulfilled...like I'm not sure where my life is going. I'm thinking photography will make my life happy for the time being but what am i really gonna do with it in the long run?? I mean i could take pictures for weddings yeah....but i want to play for them too...idk I'll figure that out later. As of right now my goal is to be effin famous but i feel like I'm NOT doing what i need to be doing...and its not even that i want to be effin famous but i want to leave my mark..yes my MARK. And by doing this, Nashville, or even just TSU (but we're aiming big here so we can starting with TSU) will know that violin/photographer/rock star/humanitarian/what ever else i can be, because i Leandria Lott-Roxx will be on my shit. But this downward spiral is overcoming me and it started on...you guesed! The Sunday before school started. Who would have known that one stupid August Sunday would be the inevitable down fall of what i wanted to accomplish...
I've gone over this day soooo many times in my head...and just wondering what could have gone differently and what went wrong. And in real life i didn't say or do anything that i wouldn't have done otherwise. So I couldn't have been the problem...but what ever. Dwelling on that event isn't gonna erase it from that past. So lets move forward in time to last weekend...for some reasons i feel obligated to do things for him and help him..but indirectly...like taking pictures...even though i thoroughly enjoyed being Picturewoman..i felt like i was doing it more for him then my twin or my lloydy. Even though that's the excuse i kept saying to myself that its for Maya..and its for Lloydy but alot of it was for him too. And i hate that i still have to write these blogs so that the chipped and cracked parts of my heart can be glued back together for the time being. Because Leandria Tia Lott is not a happy person. Coach Roxx is an alter ego that lies dormant until somebody remembers that she's there. Honestly i would happily give my title away if i could be happy with what i have. And its not that i have low self esteem at all. I love who i am and what i stand for its just the time i wish i could get back or somehow move that time frame into the present time so i can be happy how i was this summer. Idk.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
This week has been....stressful. I haven't had a good sleep in awhile..i haven't noticed him in awhile...well i have but its just i might be getting numb to the feelings i have/had for him...so no more blogs about my ex male companion? Maybe not...I'm thinking that one day I'll be able move on, really move on..and be sincerely happy with who i am and what I'm doing with my life...because in real life, LIFE the person is idk..I'm starting not to care..
I'm getting tired of certain people in my life and they're gotdamn attitudes. I think you might've been exed sir.
This that and the other...
This weekend was cool. The party was nice. The turn out could have been better. I might change my major to photography...ha..
Ha no i might...
I'm pretty sure i don't like pool..i like you but I'm starting to change my mind..
I heart my friends...
"Frankie's dancing heals the world!"
"I wonder if i can febreeze my hair."
"Don't back space my shit ho!"
I'm might just start a new segment called Quotes...ha but not today.
Best friend makes me sad..i wish this would stop.
I've had this blogg open for a long time and i wanna say something but its not coming out. I like how when I'm thinking about a certain person now a days the other pops up, i just want to honestly not have anymore sad blogs anymore..i would love to be happy and not have this nigga randomly show up in a corner of my mind because in real life I'm so ready for that part of my life to be behind...ha maybe tomorrow
I WANT MY GOTDAMN G1!!!
I'm running out of things to say.
And i don't feel resolved...I'll be back.
Pause gospel explosion first act no bueno. Think of dog whistles with different pitches sounding at the same time then picture a mans voice singing in a different key. A slaw drum player, a slick slaw keyboard player, and NO bass player. Couldn't say in there...
Okay I'm done for now...
Friday, October 24, 2008
Saucy...this is all swagged out.
Texas Pete...like the hott sauce..get it?? haha
Remember this there's a test later.
I heart him..ha
Posted by Lott Roxx at 12:32 PM
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Ha okay so I'm back. This swagg thing. I mean i have swagg. Not to be cocky or conceited I'm far from that. But I'm an attractive, talented, and intelligent young women who has alot going for her. And some people can't see that. Maybe its not my swagg that I'm missing then. Maybe I'm just missing that person and I'm thinking that they had something to do with my swagg. Now true enough they were apart of my life for a good little minute almost a year and that's time and effort that i Leandria Roxx invested. Its just like me taking time out of my life to write this blogg with this person in mind for me to read it at the max 4 times and then slick forget about it...pointless right? I've said before that i was done, dwelling on what could have been. But i don't think its that simple for me to just let go of something that i feel/felt really passionately about. And since I'm still slick attached to this kidd in someways thoughts of him creep up on me in every direction. I mean honestly...what did i REALLY do? I'm effin amazing..I'm effin supportive, and i put up with an effin lot. My daddy told me that i was to good..but that's just what daddy's are supposed to say. And in real life i don't believe I'm to good for him. We're just in different places...in different mind sets.. And clearly in...well what ever it was we shared..being on one accord with each is required. That was my mistake, your blunder. Overlooking an important factor in the balance of life. Yours and mine. And the really sad part about this is I'm the ONLY one that cares. Cares enough to write these countless bloggs about you. And what could have been. I've never been the type to linger on a fallin male companion unless i was in love. And it wasn't there. It was more of a deep understanding of who he was and caring for him in that way. And I mean who doesn't want a good ass friend who doesn't judge and who you can talk to about any and everything and nuthin at the same time. And once again the sad thing is I'm the ONLY one that cares...writing pointless bloggs about people that don't care about the last year...*sigh* i digress...and I'm rambling...i feel kind of resolve if not for the situation...just for the night..
Soo. I guess its time to write another blog.
This that and the other maybe?
I'm not feeling like myself for some reason....its like i do things and i look back...PAUSE Reggie is a damnit...and so is his laugh. and the grunt..lol okay..but i look back on past events and i can't remember what i was doing before i did those things..i honestly all this talk of swagg is making me question if i found mine..maybe it wasn't in your shoe box XOXO. Maybe it'll be at the party.
I effin went to Knockout Wings...and i saw the boy with 12 names...we had a date for this weekend but he's going out of town...an apology was given and a promise for a kick it session was made. I'm kinda concerned..withdrawal babes? I slick feel like that to. BUT VENOM!!! Ha idk if I'm really that concerned.
I'm about to turn into and Orchestra kidd....
i had orchestra tonight and it was effin great. I missed it.
And the music was amazing. Mozart is amazing..
Reggie can spell MISSISSIPPI!
SAI bake sale!!! Ha dori was held hostage by some Roses. Lmao..i hearts you Dori..
This party business is grimmey (grimmie?) n-words throwing flyer's in the dirt and taking minutes of they're already insignificant lives to take our flyer's and pile them in an elevator..i mean...is ya scared?
I miss frankie.....the crayonz haven't made a single in a long time...*sad face*
Im gonna be famous..
I think im done...but i'll be back.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Sooo yeah...I'm tired. You smiled at me today and reminded me of all the things that you used to do to make me smile....and i used to do to make you smile...and honestly i felt helpless..and empty. Or something i can't really explain it. But i thought of an analogy today...Think of a cake.. now not just any cake but a gorgeous cake...birthday cake if you want. And its so pretty but somebody just came and cut the cake and took the prettiest part and it and now there's a BIG whole in it...if you made sense of that analogy that's how i feel..and its so frustrating that a look from your direction will bring back every emotion i thought i had thrown away....I'm so tired. And i wanna be done...but I've come to the conclusion that i can't stand being your friend..and i can't stand not being that either..it hurts either way..Me and my friend had a conversation today about the Pursuit of happiness and every little wish is for happiness but honestly how can anybody be happy in real life with a piece of cake missing!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Okay guys..this quote is def cliche` but relevant at this point in my life. My friends call me simple. Its because i am it doesn't take that much to please me. But as i was skimming through the Crayonz blog Gent was gun excited about a trip to Wal-mart, bed bath and beyond and idk target probably...if you don't know us you would wonder why. We could be kickin it in 608 or room B, chillin in the drunken hours of the night, and some of us waking up to the hang overs in the morning...but you can bet there's some kind of profound conversation going on or a new record being produced. (vibrate on that ho zzzz zzz zzzzzz)
You can judge us if you want to.....but we're still gonna be excited to go to Wal-mart.
Monday, October 13, 2008
So i got tired of the other layout...it made my eyes hurt..
This one matches my picture.
And I'm still a rock star!!
Its music note scribbles!!
Cuz im a rock star...
with my friends! No homo. But i love them ho's! I thought this summer was tough without my line sisters but then another ball of sunshine walked into my life bright as hell and 7 foot tall!Ha okay she's not that damn tall but i miss her and my two short ho's too!! And the sad part is...we've only be separated for all of 2 or 3 days! Lets get it together folks. We need to be able to cope for winter break. Or you could all just live with me!...(no down with Huntsville)
Okay maybe this will turn into a this that and the other....
Recent studies have shown that I Leandria Roxx is not a very affectionate person..
For instance I'll hold your hand I'll give you a hug we can even cuddle for a bit BUT don't get used to it. It gets boring after a while and i wanna see new tricks..no pun people.
Ha Dori!! Are you a fan of Madagascar? Because the Madagascar 2 comes out November 7!!
I'm getting a new phone!!..once again m shad0w has failed me....and i have to get all my numbers again.
I love my best friend!! He told me howdy today..so he's my best friend the cow boy..no one else has one of those!!
I hate it when ex's text me just to let me know that i played them..there's probably a reason why i played you either you tried me. or you did something to annoy me. And i probably don't care about your feelings anyway. And people lets get this straight i might me cute and friendly but if you try me I'm gonna be neither to you. You'll be exed and thinking about what couldn't have been because I'm not that type.
Hey! i digg consistency and just so NO ONE is confused on the definition of the word consistency here's the definition with an example (well look at God!)
I know its been for ever since I've blogged. But I'm the type that blogs when something happens to me. And don't get me wrong things have happened i just haven't been able to put these events into words. But here goes.
So recently i lost my really good friend. But it seems to have been an inevitable loss. And sadly this friend and i have pointless conversations that feel one sided. Being the only one that cares is no bueno. And as i sit and think about the last conversation we had I'm reminded of the times we shared before then. i laugh to myself and sigh WTF I'm over this bull shit. This continual battle that goes on in my head. A friend once said.The brain and the heart are funny organs..always connected but forever at battle. Convincing your self of one thing but FEELING another. Damn...damn is right. Because its seems to be the only word that completely and not at all describe how you feel. Feeling like this makes you want to give up but then there's still that part of you that's still hopeful. HOPEFUL.. a funny word because in real life, it describes somethings that we wish for. And it just leaves you with thoughts of false hope and broken promises. And disappointments...summers full of conversation, long nights, passion, obvious sincerity, and then "reality sets" in and the magic of summer drifts away slowly into the stagnant fall. Im done..and i mean it this time.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I have a new segment people!
I often speak in facebook status form.
Example "Leandria is writing a blog."
So i've decided that every now and then i will type a blog in status form.
And there you go.
Leandria is wishing she knew how to talk to you.
Leandria is wondering if this is at all important to you.
Leandria is trying to figure out why this means something to me.
Leandria is in Dorian's apartment eating noodles.
Leandria is interested in someone else but doesn't want to be.
Leandria thinks your a damnit adorable.
Leandria wants to kiss you..but don't tell anybody.
Leandria just digressed.
Leandria is wondering why its so hard to talk to you when it used to be so easy..
Leandria is might be out of questions till later..
Leandria is wondering why you have to look for "her".
Leandria is wondering why that was in your status.
Leandria is wondering if she was on her shit....
Leandria is also wondering if all this ish was bull because in real life LIFE the person means something to me. But this ish that's been pulled in real life isn't what i had in mind.
Okay..now im done...
Posted by Lott Roxx at 2:39 PM