i was just thinking and..

i think the reason why i'm not where i want to be, is because i can get shy...or something. i let people intimidate me in certain situations when it they shouldn't. i'm most comfortable when i'm around people i can be myself around. but when i'm not well. i'm not sure why but i clam up, get nervous, and get shy. its not attractive. im a personable person. but when it comes to being put out in the forefront i get nervous. being a leader something i've been told i'm good at. but just getting there is a challenge.

anywho. i think im done whining about myself. im gonna work towards fixing this about myself this summer.

Colors

Yesterday i had a 5 year old moment..
i started spinning around like a child and everything was a blurr.
Lately that's how life has been.
I spin around and all i see is...
A world wind of colors that shines of navy blue and tan.
Boring colors i know
But sometimes purple and red are in mixed.
A splash of green and some sky blue.
As my dizziness subsides the colors start to make sense.
Slick there's man emerging from the toradoe of colors..Two men actually.
One smiling. The other just looking.
One kissing my hand.The other just standing there wasting time.
Ha still. This is dumb. But the latter is still appealling.
I start spining again to blurr the images in front of me.
This time i keep spinning and wait for someone to catch me.
The latter lets me fall. Rather rude huh?
But the other?..the other picks me up.
Dusts me off.
Kisses my forhead.
And whispers "Your beautiful..." in my ear.
Ha simple choice. The images are clear.
The colors make since.
And im done spinning..


So i was on facebook looking through my notes and clicked on drafts and i see Colors, something i started in like June. So i finished it. I'm trying not to get all mushy and shit but when ever i start writing its usually for a reason. Ha idk.