Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Today was it..i couldn't hold them in any longer! I've prayed about it but they came anyway. Seeing your face...set me off. I'm not fine with this. What does friendship really mean anyway? In the past 10 months that definition has been distorted drastically for i sit here now and think about how much i want to be mad at you and about how much i don't wanna care. I keep coming back to the fact that i care about you to much and me being mad is only the frustration that's built up over time..yeah I'm upset but its not all because of something you did. I'm upset with myself for getting to attached, which i promised my self i wouldn't do. Your amazing in soooo many ways kidd. Its crazy because i can still see this even through the blinding frustration, that's telling me to hate you and forget about everything we've been through. You know me kidd! I'm a person that says how she feels but when your guy says "lets be friends" how do react? What should i have said that would have made the outcome different? I wanna make you happy but in doing so there are definite repercussions and i forget to remember my own feelings.. Not cool idk how you do it! But you not only embody the brain of an effin musical genius which is outrageous to me because you don't even know all your talents, but your hella genuine..again as i said before amazing. And i def don't use that word lightly. I mean what i say and i know that you do the same. Even though I'm hurt i can't help but see the method to your madness. Maybe i should have said something...but in any case your still my favorite kidd.