I am

Disappointed in myself. I have all these expectations with my music. And I'm finding myself unable to full fill them..its so frustrating to see people around me who's majors have absolutely nothing to do with music...doing bigger things then me in MY field!!! Omg..I'm not where i wanna be!! This guy I just met wants to do something with libraries..i can't remember his exact major. But he can sing so he's cutting a CD on the side..AND he can play like 5 instruments. Geez..now mind you he asked me to play on his album..but its guitar. NOT violin. I don't know how well that's gonna turn out..And this other guy I've been slightly dating is about as talented as anyone one guy I've ever met..this man is working with upcoming artist. WTF!! I neeeeed to start networking hard. I need to get a new laptop so i can record myself and send it to this guy that wants to hear it..he has pull people!! I need to get my life together, stop dwelling on the past, and realize who i am, and will always be.
I'm a musician. I love my violin and i love my guitar. For now that's all i need to be.

Ooooh yeah. And I'm going to be famous..

Stalker strikes again!!

Hey..im starting to worry about my life and well being. He keeps showing up at my job but he never tells me hes coming..WTF?? Monday he came a sat and watched me teach class for TWO HOURS!! Its hot in the pool when your not in the water..but he didn't seem to mind..he's crazy. I then he popped up yesterday..and i stay home today..and i hear he popped up again. I'm not sure what i did.or what i should do...

i buying..

a MACBOOK...a black one. i think i want it only because of garage band..but you get a free ipod touch when you buy it...so i don't have to buy an ipod now!!
Wooooh!!!

I'm in mourning..

Gary died today. Sunset: July 7, 2009. 12:20 pm. He committed suicide and jumped out of my bag..under my car...on to some concrete..the screen went dark. T-mobile and i did everything we could to revive him..but it was no use. He flat lined. And he was so young. I blame myself...

**moment of silence please**

Anyway..i need a new name for my new g1..one that starts with a G..
suggestions would be lovely. =)

Roxx out**