Friday, December 25, 2009

It was only a matter of time...

The disfunction has begun..idk what it is about our family. But now adays if we're in the house for to long..its like world war 3. And its not even necassary the mess. People..siblings will argue its not because they hate each other..if we did we could do have the shit we do with each other..honestly..I love my brother and sister. But they irritate the shit out of me. But I still love them..and they still love each other. How come they don't understand that..

Saturday, December 12, 2009


The music department is making it hard for me to actually want to be here.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Always and Forever...

Saturday, August 29, 2009


TSU dropped my classes again!!!!!

I'm so tired of HBCU's..

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


"Don't ever accept any form of love except the kind that is only given by God. The love you've been wanting is everlasting and that love is only given thru God."

Another good point sir.

Monday, August 24, 2009


Does anyone remember me talking about my friend who sings, who asked me to be on a couple of his tracks on violin and guitar? Well I met his producer the other day who just happens to produce for the same person. And he wants to record me to AND he's willing to pay me for each instrument and eachr track. Aah. =))

One more thing ,the guy who wants me to record on his track, is open for a some major Artist in Atl in Oct and hosting a talent search in huntsville.(guess who has talent!) He also said when he wanted me to play live shows with him. God delivers. Ahh. =))

Good Day Bloggers.=))

hair cut.

what do you think?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

just a thought..

You hold on to that hurt fa real. You'll mess around and mess yo blessing. You'll never kno when the real Him may come around
Very insightful sir.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I've done it again..

I've fallen in love with Betsy its not one of those i-can't-live-without-you-please-don't-leave-me type loves..I'm not that dramatic..but I love her effing earings...studs that look like ladybugs!!! and I love ladybugs..

Speaking of love. Does anyone remember Shihan..he was extra deep from...what was it...poetry jam..def poetry..something like that. Anyway every poem he wrote was amazing esp Love Type Love. Go youtube him and while your at it..just look up all the poets that were on that show. One of my favorites is Penny for Your Thoughts. Its by a white man I can't remeber his name..but very nice stuff.

I think I'm done typing now.
Night Bloggers.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Random but...

I'm proud of myself. I managed salvaged some burned bridges! I guess they weren't burned all the way in the first place. Being nice and social pays off folks. I knew that.  But I don't always apply it. Lately I've been discovering the Christian in me. Reading the Bible more and relating my life to it. I like this feeling I'm getting. Soo I leave you with this thought bloggers.
Hugs not drugs.  And live people.
Lol not so profound but what ever.
But love God..He always loves you silently. And out loud. Just return the favor.

Speaking of love! Have you ever loved out loud. I mean not just your significant other but your friends, and family. Even thing your most passionate about? ( I clearly have. This might be different..but try it.

Shouts out to Lois you rock kidd. I'm really done.


Funny Stuff.

The funny thing is..this shit isn't noble.I'm not being strong and I'm nothing to look up to..idk why you said that..people fall in love and get hurt everyday. It was just my turn to bleed. I'm putting a bandage on it and I'm trying to move on...but this kinda stings..and its probably gonna leave a scar..ugh. I guess its really not that funny.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I haven't written one of theses in awhile..

So I've been doing better lately. Its a new month..I have a new boo or entertainment..what ever you wanna call it. A new stalker. You know stuff that keeps my confidence up. BUT I have to ask myself. Am I really happy. Sure I'm slightly content. I smile more often then I used to..but am I sincerely happy?? No is the answer. I used to have all theses expectations for people around me..the ones that claim their love for me..the ones who befriended me but let me down in the end. My daddy told me you can't trust anyone but I don't believe that completely but I guess I should lay my trust down more mom said not to fall to hard because you'll get hurt more often then not. Now that shits true. I've only fallen once but..the impact when I hit the ground..hell.. broke everything. My shoes are everywhere..slick my clothes are too. I just need to get my mind back in place..put my shoes away. And rememeber who I was..and who I am right now. Damnit. Relapse.
Night blogger.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Welcome to the blog world Wuwy.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I love my family. We have our ups and one of those wooden roller coasters at six flags. When we're bad. Its horrible. But when we're good its great...hell even when we're good its bad. But I love em. I love that we have all these family things we can do together. Like going to the movies together and sneaking snacks in or sneaking into another show after our movie is done with lol. Or star gazing,.watching shooting stars while listening to The Planets by Holtz. I love it. I love them=)

Goodnight loves. Sleep well

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I am

Disappointed in myself. I have all these expectations with my music. And I'm finding myself unable to full fill them..its so frustrating to see people around me who's majors have absolutely nothing to do with music...doing bigger things then me in MY field!!! Omg..I'm not where i wanna be!! This guy I just met wants to do something with libraries..i can't remember his exact major. But he can sing so he's cutting a CD on the side..AND he can play like 5 instruments. mind you he asked me to play on his album..but its guitar. NOT violin. I don't know how well that's gonna turn out..And this other guy I've been slightly dating is about as talented as anyone one guy I've ever met..this man is working with upcoming artist. WTF!! I neeeeed to start networking hard. I need to get a new laptop so i can record myself and send it to this guy that wants to hear it..he has pull people!! I need to get my life together, stop dwelling on the past, and realize who i am, and will always be.
I'm a musician. I love my violin and i love my guitar. For now that's all i need to be.

Ooooh yeah. And I'm going to be famous..

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Stalker strikes again!! starting to worry about my life and well being. He keeps showing up at my job but he never tells me hes coming..WTF?? Monday he came a sat and watched me teach class for TWO HOURS!! Its hot in the pool when your not in the water..but he didn't seem to mind..he's crazy. I then he popped up yesterday..and i stay home today..and i hear he popped up again. I'm not sure what i did.or what i should do...

i buying..

a MACBOOK...a black one. i think i want it only because of garage band..but you get a free ipod touch when you buy i don't have to buy an ipod now!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'm in mourning..

Gary died today. Sunset: July 7, 2009. 12:20 pm. He committed suicide and jumped out of my bag..under my car...on to some concrete..the screen went dark. T-mobile and i did everything we could to revive him..but it was no use. He flat lined. And he was so young. I blame myself...

**moment of silence please**

Anyway..i need a new name for my new that starts with a G..
suggestions would be lovely. =)

Roxx out**

Saturday, June 27, 2009

mind set..

its my favorite poem that i've written. so since i have a problem coming up with words for my guitar progressions i thought i'd just turn that poem into a song...=)

more later...

Friday, June 26, 2009


soooo...its okay now to write a song that has no real lyrics?? wtf??
you can only understand like 3 lines out of the entire song!!!

its kinda nice though...except for the synthesized trumpets..
key board is cool. and i hear bass guitar.

okay i hung out with one of my lifeguard/music major/oakwood friends.
he's hella cool and down to earth. and we played this game while we were watching the mirrors...(not a scary movie don't watch it if you want to be scared) but we'd listen to the scores and tried and figure out the orchestration...lame maybe but it helps sharpen your hearing and noticing the timbre of each individual instrument. and now this game has got me analyzing everything i hear...and just so you'll know the Mirrors has a small ensemble. a couple of violins, violas, cellos, and up right bass, a lot of timpani and bass drum, gorgeous piano lines, a french horn english horn here and there..not much wood wind and brass at all actually..and some guitar. oooh and some !it might have been synthesized though....

hmmm being a music major...


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Problem With The Sceduled Entertainment...

Meaning he's turned into an effing stocker! Wtf??? We literally met for the first time on Monday! How many days is that folks?? Yepp. FOUR! He's already telling my friends about how our kidds will look and he's thinking about marriage..hmm. This man is crazy. Also he plans to buy a car when I go back to school to come and visit me every other weekend..and he plans to stay guessed it folks. ME.

Its very much so time for me to nip this in the bud before he slips the date rape drug in one of my drinks and has his way..(he bought me a pretty sketchy looking tea I wouldn't put it past him)

Did I mention that he's already picked out my birthday I hear its gonna big.

Crazy...I don't need this in my life right now...

I'm am not at all a racist....

But I saw some white people do the dumbest thing ever yesterday...(I think I'm going to attempt to stop cursing)..okay ready?

So I was at work( a pool) and I received news that the pools pump was not working, which means the kidds can't swim and neither could we. That also means day off! Wooooh! So I gather some of my co workers and one of my enternaiments..and we venture off to the rock quary.

NOW the rocky quary is a place on Oakwood U. land guessed! ROCKS..but when you get past all that there's this very pretty lake with the clearest water...surrounded by big rocks in the form of cliffs. (this is where the white people come in folks) my friends and I are just enjoying the water looking at the fish, taking pictures..and along come at 6 white people with beers in hand all gung ho about jumping off the cliff into the me being a water SAFETY instructor and a lifeguard..a good rule I would apply to this situation is LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP. And did these white people look??? The answer to that people is hell nah.  One (female) proceeded to chug a beer before jumping at least 40 feet into the water (and I'll add there was no exaggeration there folks) while another (male) did a front flip...OFF THE EFFIN CLIFF. Stereotypes man...I never truely believed them until I witnessed it myself. AND they were talking about going skydiving...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

New Entertainment...

I'm not happy yet..but I love the effort he's making. It seems new to me. I think he's moving faster then I am feeling wise...clearly its only been 2 days since we started kicking it. But intentions were stated clearly by both parties. Soooo we'll see what does and doesn't happen..

Apparently everyone is ready for a relationship when its the right person...maybe I wasn't it. Maybe I will be for him..but who really NEEDS relationships?? Not I said the cat...

But heyyy! Wooooh name stars is fun. Say hello to Gregory next time you look up. =))

Roxx out**

Sunday, June 21, 2009

lucy =))

i found the camera i'm going to buy!! =))

its a nikon L100 and im going to name her lucy.
isn't she gorgeous?? yayy for the pictures that are soon to come.♥
ps. i've decided that the camera will be purchased before the ipod.
Roxx out**

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A word..

I'm in love with an idiot..its a shame that men dont come with reset buttons so you can start them over when ever they mess up. Or maybe the women should have one so trust wouldn't be an issue..idk I'm tired. What a trip..

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I'm entertaining and i must not into it..its so much work..and my mind is somewhere else..these small gestures that should mean something, don't...i need to clear my head...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Yayyy! I have my lisence!
Wooooh for me!
My cars name is...still being thought of.
I'll come back with it later..

Saturday, May 23, 2009


I am at my boys basketball game. They coach their church team (little kidds) and play for it too. This is the most adorable thing to watch...the smallest kidd is scoring all the points..BUT Im being destracted by this man with 'plumber syndrome' know when someones pants are hanging down while sitting or squatting and their's a clear view of his slightly disturbed. AND I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S NOT A PLUMBER!! It doesnt seem like he's trying to cover his crack at all! Wtf! 

Roxx out*

Thursday, May 21, 2009


need some kind of understanding....

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My List!

I've checked off something on my list! I bought an effin guitar! And i've named her..dawnn with two N's. Yayy isn't that a pretty spelling! And look at God! I've written a song...with words!! Frustration, among other things, are a good recipe for song writing.

Have you ever wondered what your stage name would be if you were suddenly engulfed in fame? What name would you want your millions of fans to be screaming at the top of your lungs in adoration? Idk either...i think and get back to you.

Roxx out.

Zee Avi

She's asian and she plays guitar.
That makes her frawesome..(freakin awesome.)
Her voice reminds me of a crooners.



I've been dreaming alot lately..and what i want to happen keeps showing up when i go to sleep. all smiles and a feeling of resolve.
Then i wake up. no smiles.. no resolve.

Reality is cruel.
But false reality is worse..

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I have a secret..

I have a small phobia of the why are the lights constantly being cut off so that all around me in pitch black..I'm confused and world has been shifted upside down...and i don't know why...

I'm having that feeling of something lying on my chest....its constricting my breathing, its making me second guess myself, and its numbing me to most feelings...

I'm about to take a walk..clear my head..

Monday, May 18, 2009

Piercings and ladybugs..

My sister inspired me today. She got a her lips pierced. Not the usual activity for a college graduate i know but, my sisters not usual. She never has been..

SO I'm going to get my tattoo. I'm going to stop wasting time and get it..most likely in Nashville.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Ive Noticed..

Theres one thing i've noticed about insanely emotional. And yes i know im human..but a lot  of times i let my emotions get the best of me..and im tired of it sick and tired of having one person shift my whole day to good or bad... One word im happy. Another word..well this is where the emotions come in..its a shame really. Im starting to get that detached feeling that i used to have in my 'coaching' starting not to care anymore. Im feeling drained emotionally...


Saturday, May 16, 2009

Did i tell you?

I went fishing the other day...and i caught 2 fish!

(Please no cracks about Alabama...people fish everywhere..the best ones are in Alabama..)

Anyway my mom fried them..and they we're damn goood. I'm proud of my self for literally putting food on the table..ha


Friday, May 15, 2009

Summer List

Last summer i witnessed someone make a list. Not just any list. No folks this list, according to him, was what kept him from becoming a man. He stuck to it and checked off everything on the before mentioned list. AND now, as promised, he's a man!!

Now..wasn't that inspirational? I'm going to do the same! My list is just as important to me. I've already found myself. I just need to get the necessary tools to maintain what i have..SO here's my lists!!

1. Make money!!
2. F hoes!!!
3. Get laid!!
4. Buy a boat!!

lol..okay for real though.
1. Get my licence
2. Buy a guitar
3. Get a car.
4. Build up a tolerance for kids.
5. Start writing WORDS to my songs...haha

And hey...
Lets plan a trip! A place with water AND sand. And I'm serious.
NO more almost Panama City trips...the beach is calling!!!
And for once..its saying my name correctly...right inflections and everything..look at that..

Roxx is out!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Just some stuff..

I'm still in VA!!! And I'm insanely bored...I'm missing some people that i left behind in Nashville!! And slick some people in Huntsville. Who would have thought...i have something on my mind right now but I'm not really sure how to say it..

This that and the other.

I'm really tired of being in the hotel room were my father falls asleep every time the tv is on or off...he snores and I'm begining to think maybe he's the cause of my headaches..

I miss my boyfriend..I'm tired of missing my boyfriend..

Oh lord it sounds like my dad stopped breathing for a second...i think I'll wake him up..

I need a car. And you can quote me Lott Roxx will have a car by the end of the summer..licence too..haha

I'm planning a trip. A trip to Nashville for my birthday and YOUR invited! But please RSVP.

VA is rudely cold at the moment..I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure its SPRING and i thought that season called for warm weather..

Congrats to all the graduates of the 2008-2009 school year!

Also lets give it up to the new relationships and the realization of what you were in. Good job to growing up and understanding what you are and how that person was holding you back. (not at all about me)!!

Wooooh i love my SAI!

I'm in love people!!! Wooooh!!!!

And hey! i love my sister Valynncia!! she has my back no matter what AND she loves me!!!!!
Little person loves you too!!!

I think I'm done....

Sunday, May 10, 2009


My sister graduated from Hampton University today. She was one of the five WOMEN to graduate from the PHYSICS department. She was accepted into a very prestigious program in the University of Mass for grad school. She maintained a 3.4 and still had a social life. She's beautiful and intelligent. And most importantly a Lott women. As a side note she became completely financially independent from my parents in one year. And she still has time to contribute to the world famous Top Chef albums. She's amazing folks! It goes to show you that if you really work hard, you'll amount to something, you might even amount to something great.
Congrats Lauren. Your already great. Just keep it up.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Just saying..

Well I don't use blogger as often as some. But I just want to announce I could care less about what people say about me. When clearly they don't have the balls, or whatever you have, to say aloud. Take it how you want and if you think I'm talking to you I probably am. But I don't care for you or your words. Its time to go home and leave some of the TSU bs in Nashville.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


As people we are surrounded by 'typical' men and women. Men that do what there expected to do. And women that follow suite in being the submissive creatures we were raised to me. This word has shaped the ideals of humanity. And depending on what culture you grew up in, it shows what kind of person you might just be.

Now don't get me wrong. Everyone is different and has different ways. But lady's how many men have you talked to that could've been kin to the previous just because of how they treated you and how they hurt you. After awhile all the heartache starts to run together.

Or what about that two faced friend that claim to be one way, but are just like everyone else. I mean honestly! how hard is it to keep it real folks? Its really easy to lie and talk about people behind their back. But it takes a real person to tell the truth when it counts. Let's not be typical.

Now let's take a break to define the word typical shall we? :Normal, average, stock, usual.

I am now experiencing someone who's different from the rest. And besides my sisters its a shock to have someone in my life that's genuinely different from anyone else. He's not typical.


Friday, April 10, 2009


I'll be your violin, if you'll be my drum.
But promise never to play me
And I'll promise never to beat you. lol

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Pancake Pantry

Is such a beautiful place. All these happy white people here for the love of breakfast. haha. I might be in love once again. Making the band? Jasmine is giving us the play by play. Auntie Jasmine style with a little memphis. With real sound affects and crying sounds. Commentary by Vallyne and Dr. Hamilton. The orange juice is might be healing my cough as we speak! And the bus boys are sooo efficent! One person gets up to leave 2 seconds later the table is cleared and another party is sitting there! I'll be back to talk about my food! The food is greeeaaattt!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'm having

another n-word moment....just give me a second to get over it...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


There's something inside your kiss
That won't let me forget
why I fell in love with you
In the first place
Will Davenport.
this lyrics reminds me of something...

Sunday, March 15, 2009


So this spring break, just like any break, i was exploited for my talents. I mean i was paid for more then one way but...that's not the point. I was asked to play at one of my mothers friends class and talk to the students in general as a musician and as a "young aspiring teacher". Now folks we know the latter was put in quotes for a reason but i honestly enjoyed it. I liked the feeling of enlightening the students. Its a weird kind of rewarding feeling to see the sudden understanding as they listened to me play and talk. I think these feelings should be developed of course. But I'm def feeling the lecture atmosphere of a college class room. Maybe I'm not getting this degree for nothing like i thought...

Saturday, March 7, 2009


Soooo folks its finally here. This time is it. I'm giving up my whistle to play one on one..I think I've been waiting for this..for a real man to walk into my life. And he's been here for awhile without me knowing i guess..maybe i've been here for him..and he didn't know it either. Woooh. what ever it is I'm extremely happy that my eyes have been opened. =)))

Friday, February 27, 2009

I just realized...

SO i was reminded of why i don't want to be a teacher today. Small slaw kidds on instruments, holding them incorrectly, not counting, or playing real notes...(I've never heard an H flat come out of a flute before today...), not listening to the director and treating they're instruments and cases like battering rams. Honestly..when you get to me I want that shit to already be drilled in your brain as wrong. A "hell no" if you will. These little kidds think their grown. Bad weave. Unnecessary back talk. Too tight clothes. And slaw on they're instruments! WTF! And then the high school kidds they have helping...i really hope they don't' want to have a career in music and this is just a hobby. PAUSE this women keeps walking around with her BO, neck tattoo and camera phone taking pics of little Andrew playing the clarinet..I'm slightly irritated because her odder is invading my bubble. Anyway I'm not gonna be a teacher in any type of public school system...its not for me. I'll end up hurting one of these kidds..

One more thing!...there's this uppity broad here...and she's irritating my life and i think she thinks its cool to be a color guard for a high school while your in college. Woooooooh! lets leave things like that behind when you graduate...

I was just thinking....

That its amazing how easily my world can be turned upside down by a single word. And put right back into place with a smile or a small kind gesture...ha its weird actually. I haven't at all thought of LIFE because my minds been so occupied with my current. Even my most recent past relationship couldn't fill the ummmmmmmm....void...for lack of a better word. Up to this current date most all the tests have been passed, extra credit has been earned, even a couple gold stars have been issued. And frankly...I'm impressed. Now there are still some things that need to get taken care of....loose ends that need to be tied together.or burned off completely rather,....but things are looking good...i can say truthfully...I'm happy.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Woooh Quote of the Evening.

I've been meaning to blogg this for awhile...

"That boy retarded with a capitol 'W'!!"
-Dori LMAO!

love you dori

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Whats the point of blogging if the message to the person isn't said in real life. Ha i dont know either folks. And i've grown slightly weary of this whole bogus blogg world thing..they say dont knock it till you've tried it but I'm def tired of reading bloggs, trying to guess if its about me but not caring enough to ask. Its a waste of life i tell you! And another thing! Why would you be ashamed to effin stroll with your organization? Honestly..are you ashamed of your colors just because they resemble ANOTHER, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, organization? If thats the case why did you go through the process of becoming a member of THIS organization?? Gone on! We don't like your kind!!! haha I think thats my rant for the night.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Leandria is....

irritated. and im counting....1..2..3..4..5...this shit is happening too often, one thing after another thing..and then i keep finding out shit...this irriation is building up. Pretty soon my patience is gonna wear out and im gonna bite through my tongue...We'll see what happens....

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The inauguration.

So we have a black president...and its amazing

When brown can stay around,
When yellow man can be mellow,
When the red man can get ahead man,
When white can embrace what's right.

The last line is very powerful.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Once again...

So I've decided ruins relationships. Okay let me just say MY relationships, from MY point of view. And coincidentally it brings out the "nigga" in me. For instance. Mr M. as he will be called. Is a male that i had intercourse with..and he's...well just that. Rude? Maybe but that just seems to be my mentality. And in his case i lost total interest in him. And his attempts to rekindle what ever we "had" brings out more of the "nigga". Its like when Reggie turns into Reginald..

With my most recent relationship there was/is more there then just sex but still....I'm convinced that if the intercourse hadn't taken place the relationship might have turned out way better and lasted longer OR maybe amounted to something..other than a slightly awkward friendship.

The point?

Well I've claimed celibacy once again. Maybe i can have a relationship without physical intimacy. I mean not even kissing. Just a hug here and there. A really slow moving relationship. Ha give me another year.

Monday, January 5, 2009