Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dean's list

I woke up this morning with a headache just thinking about the wasted time and disappointment..Starting over and realizing what starting over really means. All those days spent getting to know you and your habits. And understanding your cycles and your patterns..made me of course i saw this coming. But it doesn't mean i was okay with it. All my hard work is shot to nothing and you got me thinking of roller coasters again. Starting off hella slow...the couple of bumps that tease you into expecting more..The climax which makes you want more...and then the fast crash down..The ride is over...Yo! I hate roller coasters. And even though you say the ride might not be over. And we might end up together. I can't live off of maybe's and mights. Because all they end up being is should've been(s) and won't(s). I just realized that as you say your not ready to be in this with me you've shown me that I'm not ready either. To be rapped up in you like it was hinted you wanted me to some ways i was def led on. And i question was it the distance. The age difference..maturity level. I know i can be childish but I'm hella mature...and understanding and patient which is basically a prerequisite for talking to you. Your figurative 'class' is so strenuous because there's so much homework and memory work. Which is cool because I'm a Dean's list kidd..but in real life I'm tired of all the work. Of waiting for results for test or getting points but...maybe being sold short...if i need help there's a couple of tutors standing by but there not 24 hour tutors are tuturs with some kind of flexible schedule and sometimes they're focused on another subject. And i know its work and sometimes i learn a lot in class but I'm starting over again. So either I've failed or you haven't done your job...And I'm a Dean's List kidd.